Ladies, do you know what a toxic relationship is? Let's imagine this scenario.
Imagine being Aurora from Disney's classic fairytale A Sleeping Beauty. Living with your godmothers in a cottage deep in the woods, your only friends are woodland animals. Until one day, you meet an enchanting woman in the forest called Maleficent. As the two of you become friends, you unknowingly begin to embrace Maleficent's attitude as your own. Your godmothers realize that you've become more ill-tempered. You're not helping with the chores because you've become arrogant. Spending time with nature doesn't seem as fun anymore; not since you started hanging out with Maleficent. So much about you has changed, but not for the better. You are forgiving of Maleficent's' faults because you don't mind overlooking such things so long as you have a friend. You are also aware that Maleficent is not as loyal a friend as you are. In time, you start feeling like someone else when you're with her. You can't put your finger on it, but something just doesn't feel right. So even though you feel this friendship is no longer benefiting you, you don't have the heart to end it. Now you're [willingly] stuck in a situation which you know is no good for you, but you lack the courage to end it all and walk away. In the meantime, you're becoming more bitter with your godmothers and Maleficent out of pure frustration, anger, and fear of loneliness. The only person that can save you from this vicious cycle is yourself.
In most cases, the victim knows the situation they're in and simply turn a blind eye to avoid loss. What kind of loss? Loss of an additional person in their life, loss of pride, loss of anything materialistic, loss of hope.
How do I know? I'm talking from experience.
In my mid-twenties, I was in a very large circle of toxic frienemies. They didn't truly care about me, but I accepted that situation so long as I had a social life. Before meeting this awful group of people, I didn't have a social life nor cared for one. However, indoor girls always become curious of the outside world. This group of people introduced a lifestyle that was very alien to me. Nightclubs every weekend, excessive alcohol consumption, dishonestly, drama, and depression. During this time, I lost 15 pounds, giving me an ill appearance. Nothing positive could have ever been gained by hanging out with these toxic people. They had no goals, no achievements, no morals, no aspirations. It was the worst 4 years of my life. Four years of my youth wasted. I felt stuck! This group was not just my everyday coworkers, it was also their circle of friends outside of work. My family was constantly worrying about me. The best thing that happened to me was getting laid off from that employment. Thank God!
That was the start of a new life. During my unemployment, I was able to catch up with my family that I had slightly neglected during my toxic transformation. My life was starting to look brighter again. Once I started a new job, I met people that were soon to be my forever best friends. This new group of people were empowering, honest, wholehearted, family-oriented, kind, respectful, and successful. Within days of my new employment, I was able to finally delete numerous contacts from my phone and social media that just didn't play a role in my life anymore (all those old frienemies). And I never looked back. I was a new and improved woman. Three months into my new job, I met the man that is now my husband.
When one door closes, one door opens! Just make sure that the newly opened door is a good one.
Don't let toxic people ruin your life. In situations like these, it is 1,000% better to be alone than to be with someone toxic. Life can be hard at times, but surrounding yourself with the wrong type of people only makes things worse. Surround yourself with people who truly care about you, who are kind and honest, who have aspirations and goals, who are successful. Don't cut yourself short; you are totally worthy of being surrounded by great people and vice-versa. Don't change who you are unless you're trying to improve yourself. Trust me, ladies, life goes by in a flash. Look for quality, not quantity!
Have you ever had a toxic relationship? Let me know in the comments below. If you are currently in a toxic relationship and don't know what to do or who to talk to, I am here for you. Just send me a DM and we'll be in touch.
Be wise my ladybugs!
Sending you much wisdom!
XoXo,
Mrs. Ladybug
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